Icarus Verilog works - IV

The curtains raised and the scene started. My small conversation with you gave me only that small hint that i was able to perceive from you. So "Not them" - hoping that my inference was right. Actually you gave me no indications whether i was right or wrong.

That made me wonder - how many times i did things "For Them"? Didnt speak up thinking what "They" will think? Didnt help out someone because "They" thought it was uncool? Tried to get along with "Them" trying to appease "Them" when i did not want to.

I thought of the times i made someone innocent suffer - mostly my dear ones because of "Them". "They" had no business in mine but i let "Them" interfere. Why should I?

I asked the question and half the crowd vanished from the audience. Most of the people i only knew by faces and names only had gone. I feel lighter now a bit more confidant. There are lesser sets of eyes staring at my actions. I can see my friends and family and that mysterious fellow in the corner shadows.

Oh - i see now - not them but isnt the actor supposed to be acting for the audience. I look at you - i know you can hear my thoughts. You smile and shake your head saying no. That could mean so many things. Are they not the audience - so then whom am i supposed to be acting for - why am i on the stage in the first place. With that ever calming smile you point at me.

Before i can think about it a group of black figures surround me. I can guess their intentions were to harm me. I start defending - pushing them away - they come one at a time in the beginning and then in groups. What they want is not clear. But there was no room for my thoughts with them around. I was struggling to clear them off - and completely forgot what was happening. So involved in the process that i forgot it was a play - i forgot i was on stage - i forgot that it is not real.

Zen flute house - III

You look at me with the same calm as ever. You know my questions - and you know the answers as well. But somehow i get the idea you are not going to tell me. You like puzzles dont you?

Without a word you pointed at the crowd - the spot light was not on now - i could see the crowd. Almost all of them i knew - atleast by face. There were those whom i met recently sitting in the front row. And i could notice that their distance from me was not only the number of rows of chairs but in effect as well.

My dearest ones were given a special seat. They could see me more clearly than others. I smiled.

There was one in the corner, not visible - i could feel that i knew that person but still couldnt figure out. You pointed at all but that person and shook your head as if saying no.

Ok now you are playing dumb-charades with me. So what was that - "Not Them" is it? You smile again.

It tastes the same - II

The music was ominious - indicating something bad was about to happen. There were so many indications to me to do something - but what??

I looked around surveyed the stage - the things that were there. And then suddenly i became aware of the host of pairs of eyes looking at me from the audience. Though not yet visible due to the high intensity spotlight - but definitely i was visible to all of them.

Fear - the one i despised started to take control - voices in my head spoke - "What if i make a fool of myself?" - "What might they be thinking?" - "Am i doing the right thing?" - "Am i good enough to do this?". With each question confidence dwindled - thoughts became hazy. It was becoming difficult to understand what is happening. But there was no escape.

Another character in the play attacked - perhaps thats what i assume he did when he hurled a crimson coloured ball at me - To catch or not to catch. Am i supposed to catch it?

In fear i dodged - there was laughter; was it that i heard from the background - what had i done? Maybe i was supposed to catch it .... then suddenly a voice from the crowd cheered for me - i knew the voice - it was full of confidence - were they too in the crowd. They had to be - for the voice was definitely the one i knew.

I was amazed at the effect of that sound. My heart was strengthened - they were in the crowd - watching me - supporting me - a new confidence arose and i felt lighter. Amused at my reaction - suddenly i was not scared anymore. But the music had stopped ...... The curtains fell and you were standing next to me.....

Apple juice from China - I

Spoke too soon, did I? Perhaps you didnt like it. But I was not challenging or complaining or mocking. Surprised - yes, you had never been so easy on me lately, so the change of attitude was definitely a difference that I felt. You know how much I know you - not as much as you know me definitely but still I am trying to understand, bit by bit.

Fear you say - no I shall do my best to not let it take control. Its a waste feeling - never helped me. Some say it is basic to survival - but then is survival basic to existence? Agnostic about it - a bit against the idea of fear being useful but then again we live in a relative world.

I used to feel that there is supposed to be, or rather can be a smooth relationship between us. But simply the idea is only because I wanted it that way and has no bearing to how it is actually supposed to be. The more I try to understand the more my fantasies are broken as reality comes forth slowly. And I realise the perfection of things as they are - as they always were.

The stage is perfectly set - you have done all the hard work to set it up for me. Though my script is missing. And when I ask you for it - you simply smile. The smile is a mixture of mocking, understanding, explaining and the one of faith at the same time. You must have seen so many like me before. I felt you are waiting for my act too - maybe you know what is on stage and what is going to happen - maybe you dont.

But you show faith and you never stop smiling. As I stand at the centre stage the curtains are just about to rise - An actor without the script of even the knowledge of plot. The ending unknown - the curtains rise.

The bright light focussing on me - my pupils contract and I am unable to see what is in front. All I have is the light, your faith in me and myself. I close my eyes - take a deep breath. And open my eyes ............

A == B ?

Of the saints and sinner
Who is more cleaner

He who walks and prays
all his days
or the one who kills
and the void he fills

If objective be separated from action
In the end we all seek satisfaction
One finds in prayer
One becomes a slayer

I dont want to die so i despise
the methods that the slayer tries

Its just that the reality
i perceive as i want it to be
The truth thats so hard to see
is something different maybe

Back to business :)

Its been so long blogging - feels good
The feel of the keys on my fingers when i am not trying to write a code
or trying to finish my assignment or a project
Letting the thoughts roll and my fingers following them
WOW......

Nothing particular on my mind though ....
Just looking at the story being unfold
One day at a time - enjoying every second of what life is giving me
It used to throw things at me earlier - checking if i can catch it or get hurt in the process
It has stopped that
maybe only for sometime now
or maybe for a change it is handing things in my hand
But i know this is one thing it hates to do

I enjoyed playing the game every single time
and waiting for the next round
But this time better prepared than the last round

I guess...........

Life has an unusual way to disappoint and surprise me -- but i wont be at all surprised if it does that again ------ [oxymoron]

Well thats how it is... :)

Wait and watch

Just a glance that i miss
Dont know if it exists
Not a dream or desire
Nor burning in the fire
Looking at the story unfold
waiting for it to be told
enjoying my way
through the night and the day
let the mystery remain
will i lose or will i gain?
Its the illusion of things
that attachment brings
In the mirror i see
The man is smiling at me
what tomorrow will bring
tomorrow we shall see ...

One step ahead - and a look back

A : Why is this happening to me? Life cant you take some time off from stabbing at me? Oh God.... when will this end? I hate this ..... I dont know what to do .... i dont know what will happen ..

B : Relax it all gonna be alright.

A : What the .. ? Who are you and how did you come into my room? And why the hell do you look like me?

B : Relax i am you from the future.

A : How can it be - you look so happy? My life is in the dumpster.

B : I am from the time you - i mean I - will have overcome them all.

A : So this all will be over?

B : I think it is safe to assume so - believe me i am from there. And i am looking at you right now and realizing all this fussing out was so useless. I feel there was no need for all of this. But well if you think you must - you must.

-------------- XXXXXXXXXXXX ------------------

Has anyone felt like this after overcoming any problem?

It has invariably happened with me that bad times got over and then i felt - Was all the cribbing - sadness - negativity and all the pain really required when it was all going to end anyway? So i thought the next time i am going to be in a dead situation - instead of being sad that it is - i will be happy for the times yet to come when i would have had overcome it. Definitely doesnt solve anything - but clips one negative cycle out of my life - a little less time being sad and a little less time being down.

Worth it ??????

You see being sad or happy has nothing to do with changing the situation in which you are? What changes it is your actions? Being sad draws out too much energy to leave something out for effective action. So next time i am going to be stuck in life - i am going to be happy instead - happy so that i get the energy to change what i want to - not because i dont care - but actually because i do.

To live means to die

To live means to die

- with no regrets in the heart
- no sorrow of the past
- no hatred or ill will
- no dreams unlived
- with no reasons to be sad
- no grudges you might have had
- no revenge of any scar
- no worries in the heart
- no anxiety in your mind
- no burden left behind
+ with a smile on your face
- no memories of disgrace
- no moments you regret
- no people you want to forget
+ only love in your heart
+ only smile for the past
+ only thankful for what has been
+ for all the treasures you have seen
+ only calm in the eyes
- with no fears - no lies

Till you die this way
You shall live to see another day

Moments that made me smile I

SS: hi aanle ka files?

me: ho

SS: jabasdast thanks :)

wats ur account number of BOA

me: arey its just (0.75*3)*1.0775

you want to do a bank to bank transfer for that\

?

SS: yes

money is everthing :P

me: ok then buy me 2 burgers next week

and we will be even

just an option

SS: ok...

me: :)

SS: ur choice

me: food is everything for me :)

he he

SS: hehe

:)

Zindagi Hasin Hai

Bheed mein akela lekin tanha nahi
Hazaro Raasto mein ghar hai kahi
Logon ki bheed mein dost hai kayi
Naye hai raahey manzil hai nayi

Chahta hu saath kuch aur logon ka
Jinkey saath seekha hai matlab zindagi ka
Kuch unki hasi mein bhi hass lu
Kuch unkey gam mein bhi ro lu

Zindagi tu hasin hai?
Ya mera nazaria?
Kyun sochu yeh main?
Zindagi tu hasin hai.

How to make a virtual environment..

After seeing the google's street view I wished to make a similiar thing for my own house. So that i can share with my friends and family the pictures of my new house in North Carolina State University in a different way. So i just came up with this way - i made some scripts using which you can easily generate the html pages.

To check out my first website go to : http://myhouseatncsu.webs.com/home.html

If you too want to make this one just follow these steps :

1) First of all take the pics of the house in a systematic manner - so that for each view has a pic that corresponds to what you would see if you turn right - left - take a step in front and take a step back.

2) Download the following two scripts :
http://www.sugarsync.com/pf/D069697_60_054175538 -- csv_gen.pl
http://www.sugarsync.com/pf/D069697_60_054175667 -- html_gen.pl

3) For these scripts to run you will need perl : you can download it from www.activestate.com/activeperl/downloads

4) Install perl : its just a matter of double clicking and following the steps.

5) After downloading the scripts : type in your dos command prompt [which you can get by pressing windows-R and run 'cmd' in it]
perl csv_gen.pl

Enter the name of the first pic : put the name of the starting point of your virtualization. Please put the first pics name as home and also rename the first pic to home.jpg

This is the name of the pic without the .jpg extension.
Continue answering the questions that follow and it will help you generate an html file with the name pic_layout.csv.

6) Then run the other script : perl html_gen.pl

While entering the paths - please enter the full paths for the directories to the locations where your pics are and the place where you want to store the generated html files.

When asked for the csv file enter the pic_layout [this was the file generated by csv_gen.pl]

7) All your html files are ready - just click any of the html files generated and you are good to go :).

I will write about hosting it online later. Because it is a lot of thing for the same post. :)
Please shoot me with any questions you have :) i will be glad to give you answers if that helps you get your environment virtualized. :)

These can be used for showing ways to people to reach your place - or it can be used to show your workplace to friends or colleges to friends.

Resources:
http://www.tizag.com/ -- for tutorials into html and perl
perl - www.activestate.com/activeperl/downloads
imagination - native to me and to you too

Have you observed that :-

If i cry -
the tears make it difficult to see
clearly what is in front of me

I-M-U-N-U-R-I

You will see it if you try
I M U N U R I

From a distance

Have you ever seen yourself from a distance?

Your own smiles - your sadness - your goals - your beliefs - your faith - your existence.

Abstraction gives the power of detachment from yourself. Chance to see yourself from a different point of view. A chance to see yourself from an unbiased way - free from all the chains of your own desire - your own wishes - your own drives - your own concepts.

I see myself and and from a distance i cant help but smile - calm spreads in me whenever i do that - i see myself playing a game where my desires guide me - so much control they have on me that they decide whether i smile or frown - does a tear roll down - or i shout in anger. Do i cry or laugh - i see myself so much tied in these.

But even this has a fun of its own - to see the mind play games of jealousy and hate - of anger and pain - of joy and happiness. From a distance they seem so meaningless - but i cant stay that way too long. I have to return to being me. But every trip to that place gives me strength to overcome whatever i am facing - or always enhanced the happiness i am feeling.

At the end i realize i can take back my independence from all the vagaries that bother me. But not yet found a way to do that - from a distance i see it possible - back to myself i loose the sight of the way. From a distance i dont feel the pain of a loss coz i leave behind the desire to have it - from a distance i see all the fear melting away - from a distance the happiness seems so always present but i deny myself that all the time.

From a distance i see what i can be - but then return to being me........

He found ANGELs

A child was born
with a simple dream
To meet the angels
that nobody had seen

He searched the playground
He searched in the rain
He searched the temples
but all in vain

There is no such thing,
as Angels he was told
But never he stopped believing
even when he grew old

He questioned every person
He searched in every book
He searched in every corner
on the road that his like took

He stopped one day and thought
what was he trying to find
Like the morning's ray on a dew drop
The answer he realised

His heart filled with warmth
His face with a smile
And sillyness of finding answer
which was there all the while

The next time he saw, he said
"I found you in the end"
With a smile on his face
He was looking at his friend.

No Way Back

i used to play
in garden all day
but somehow i began
to walk away
to place i thought
was a better one
with things that i thought
would be more fun
my need were met
but the greeds on rise
i took what i liked
didnt care for the price
I kept building

development it was called

destruction masked

in a creationist call

The road i took

took me far away

from the place

where once i use to play

But i want to go back

and be there again

I see my mistake

I feel the pain

I turn around

i seek the way

i see i have burnt the bridge

that would take me there

God loves atheists

You take care -
i ask more
You try to give -
i complain
i dont get
i get angry
i beg to You
You make arrangements -
if You delay -
i frown
ENOUGH . . . . . .
From now on there is one person less that you have to be tensed about :)
Love You

PS : God must be loving atheists - they dont pester him, just mind their own businesses :P

Happiness is not much more than simple 'DESIRE' Management.

How different

In a new country

In a new place

With new people

With new race

With different faces

and different names

With different culture

and different games

I look around to see this all

In amazement as i explored more

I saw a place i had

already seen before

Though all the difference

And all the newness too

The sky above me

was still the same blue.

Does your answer change?

This is going to be my first interactive post. By that i mean i am going to interact with you :) [Height of redundancy]

Let me begin with asking you a question - If i say that after TODAY things are going to change and you have no way to escape it. You have no idea how the change is going to be - Will it make things better - will it make things worse - or it will not change anything for YOU. How would you feel about the change ?
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Pause a while - think - proceed
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Would you feel afraid of the unknown? Would you feel anxious? Would you be curious? Would you give in to the fear of change and want to avoid the change? Or you would welcome it? Let me remind you that you have absolutely no idea what the change is going to be like?

Without the knowledge of any variable whatsoever involved, the probability of it being good/bad/neutral stand equally poised at 1/3 , 1/3 and 1/3. But still having this logical knowledge about the event - what is the feeling you get?

You want to avoid it - You look forward to it - You dont care about it ????

Please answer this for yourself now - How do you feel about that change which is going to happen and you have no idea about its effects?
Give it a serious thought before scrolling down.
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Now replace TODAY with DEATH. Does your answer change?

Back to the city

Am back to the city
Where there are few rules on the road
But alas there is no hurry
everything is close by

Am back to the city
less money - lesser ways to destroy
fewer ambitions maybe
but content with their lives

Am back to the city
i grew in and left for behind
for riches and better prospects
somewhere else i shall find

and on the way are people
like me who have seen the rest
who will try to make the city "BETTER"
thinking they know the best

i will show them fun
i will show them comfort
i will make them want it all
i will buy their land
i will sell them that
i will see the city fall

It will become big
it will become crowded
It will progress and we will believe
that the small city i used to live
this is its fate
that is meant to be

wish i could stay
in a simple way
knowing my neighbour's name
will share some sweets
will feel good they are there
and they shall feel the same

I dont need the big tower
I dont need the big shop
I dont need the big roads
Where people loose their hearts

I dont need the money
I dont need the comfort
I dont need the city
Where neighbours live apart

Poor Shani Dev

If anyone knows a bit about indian astrology then they probably are aware of the dreaded planet called 'SHANI'. For those who dont - it goes like this. When this planet is strong in one's horoscope it is said that all bad things will happen in the life of the person and in case of most people this planet moves into a strong position atleast once in his/her lifetime. And during all this time due to the effect of the planet the following might occur :

1) Loss of opportunity
2) Accident
3) Mental unrest
4) Getting into bad habits
5) All sorts of troubles
6) Failures from all directions
7) Bad new from everywhere
etc etc etc - the list can go on. Basically a life of mess. [If you are to believe in this concept]

Well then i would like to consider this - say the planet is affecting you or in general any person in a bad way then i just pity the plight of the 'SHANI' itself. See if you follow a little bit of analogy here - physics says every action has an equal reaction and also there is a spiritual law that states - everything you do comes back to you in time. Well then i have a certain base to believe that if 'SHANI' is affecting my life negatively then definitely i am making his life hell at the same time. And to think that there are millions of being around and even if we say that 10% of them are being negatively affected by 'SHANI' - then i can not even imagine how miserable it must be for 'SHANI'.[For disambiguation :: i am treating 'SHANI' as a person because in indian mythology the planet is a god with the same name] That must be one miserable state to be in.

Sorry god 'SHANI' for all the miseries in my life which you have caused or in future are going to. :P


PS : Indian astrology believes that gravitational effects from the planets affects people on earth. If this is held to be true then the action reaction thing definitely holds true too. Gravitation is pretty much a verified concept.

But for how long???

You made me run
You made me chase
You stopped me, blocked off
all my ways
But for how long???

You took away my chances
You made me lose
You left me with no options
when i wanted to chose
But for how long???

You erected walls
You dug up holes
But i am getting better
at crossing those
So for how long???

Its just matter of time
and i'll be there
Not 'AGAINST' you
But 'FOR' what i care

You stand your ground
For mine i'll fight
I may win
or lose i might

I will walk my way
I will sing my song
Try to stop me if you want
But for how long???

PS : - I wrote the poem in a particular mood - but when i reread it - i found it could be interpreted in different ways than what i thought of it - the "But for how long???" question was asked in a mocking defiant mood and not in the desparate, hopeless one.

I GET A NAIVETY HIT .....

"Donot fall in there" - i was shouting to myself, i was trying hard. I had fallen in there earlier - it was dark in there - it was confusing and restless there. I never wanted it again - but still at the sight of it i get drawn to it. It has some wierd sort of gravity maybe which is very strong and as i try to go away - my very actions seem to be the reason of my fall. I sometimes laugh at myself for not being strong. I sometimes shout for being so weak. It pops out of nowhere and at anytime. I know i get out everytime i fall - but this time i'd rather avoid the trouble altogether.

The darkness in there leaves it to my imagination to draw lines and pictures. And believe me drawing a colourful picture there has always been difficult. The fears get a chance to come out there - and they are like the worst ones to let have the control of imagination. For one thing they are invariably wrong and have a self multiplying tendency. The lines and shapes always draw a murky picture - something i would have never thought - something that i would have never drawn. My weakness gives them strength to start making their own pictures.

First i loath - then i question - then i wonder - and in the darkness when that is all i am seeing i start to feel they are making sense. And keep looking.

The illusions get strong - i start hearing voices, their volumes getting louder and louder. I could shout at them to shut up. But i dont till they drown my own voice which was guiding me all the while. I start to believe in them and the stories they tell - they lie - and have fun at my reactions. I can see the smiles at the corner of their lips - their grin getting broader at my misery. They seem to enjoy it so much.

I get tired and angry. I know its not the truth and i want to NOT believe it - but i torture myself under the effect of the darkness, my imagination and the voices. Till i point comes when i realise how stupid i am being. But knowing this is the easiest part. I still have to shut the voices - and get into the light. Sometimes you get used to the darkness - and live in desolace, but not me - not this time or any other.

I shout at them - they smirk. I know the place where i entered but unable to open the door back outwards. My imagination still playing games with me. It takes time to open the door - depending on how huge locks i put on it as i entered. But its always my victory at the end. I come out to see the light - i turn back to see the darkness and laugh at it ---- i see it losing its grip on me and feel happy and dumb at the same time. The happiness of coming out and the stupidity of going there in the first place. But then all is well.

I promise myself i am never going to be back here .......... i hope i keep it for the rest of my life.

PS : I GET A NAIVETY HIT

Stupid Dog ???

Just the other day i was walking on the street when i saw a dog. Just the usual street dog. Now he had some serious issue with his tail and was making desperate attempts to catch it. It was amusing to see him going round and round in a frenzy. I had seen it in cartoons many times but saw it actually the first time. And the first thing that came to my mind was - 'What a stupid dog'.

I realized i made that statement because i was able to see the inherent futility of the exercise - but it obviously was a very serious issue for the dog. Not demeaning the dog or anything but with its thinking capacity it thought and did what he thought he ought to. That was that. But I with a 'so called' better brain and 'higher' intelligence was able to analyze the activity and draw conclusions.

Then it just struck me -- what if there was a being, with say 10 times my intelligence, no lets make it 100 times my intelligence - who has a more complex brain - more neurons - more synapses than my brain - more grey matter - or maybe a completely different system of perceiving and analyzing. Would he find my activities 'Stupid' too ???

The frame changed ------ now i was the dog - instead of the tail i am chasing other things maybe - money / fame / pride / status / or things which i run after and going in circles. Obviously these things are important according to my thinking capacities - just as it was for the dog chasing his tail. So would a more intelligent creature come and laugh at me??? Probably ....... probably not. I might never know - because i cannot think beyond my thinking capacities.

Maybe if i was a dog - i would have probably commended the dog in his determined effort to chase the tail. Maybe i would be inspired to do the same just like i laud the efforts of successful men and women. Then again i dont know that either because i dont have a dog's brain. I may never find the answer but i just cannot deny the possibility of it being true.

WARNING :: Thinking could be injurious to joy ......

I was going to Pune this weekend [it was a three day weekend after eons and i didnt want to waste it]. I took a bus to pune and as any other normal bus it stopped at around 10 pm at a restaurant dhaba sort of place on the highway. Keeping with my policy of 'minimum food while travelling in a bus' - i got down , stretched my legs and had just a fruit plate. It was over in a matter of 5 minutes but the bus had stopped for half an hour.

Then something happened which has happened a million times before and atleast hundreds of times i have seen it earlier - it started to drizzle. Very fine sized water droplets - so small that even little wind that was there was enough to push it in any direction it wanted. And i was standing there looking at it as it fell on the front glass of the bus. The drops slowly coalescing to form bigger ones and then rolling down along the glass leaving a streak of water behind them - and all i was able to think was the damp smell that would be there in the bus for the rest of the journey.

Ambling around in the corridor just outside the restaurant. I looked up when i was at the end of the corridor with no particular reason and saw a very simple phenomenon. There was a light on the wall but the light was not visible from where i was standing - and in the background was the dark sky - so actually there was nothing to indicate that there was a light there but for the reflections of the light on the tiny droplets of water that were falling. As long as the droplets were in the scope of the light they were visible and then they would dissappear.

The moment i looked at it - all the inferences were drawn - the location and the colour of light - droplets shape - water's property to reflect and refract - the wind that was moving them in all directions. The explaination came naturally to me as i had learnt all these principles already. There was nothing interesting there anymore - nothing more to know - it was just a 'so ordinary phenomenon'.

But i stared at it for a bit more than usual time - and wondered - what if i did not know all these things - what if i did not know where the rain comes from or how water reflects - if i didnt know there was a light and didnt know what was happening. What would it be like ........

And then i found myself staring at the drops with amazement. What are those things? - appearing out of nowhere - dissappearing into nowhere - glowing as they flow - shining like balls of energy of some sort. As i stared at them for longer - i was able to see each and every droplet now - and track their motion - they were moving in slow motion now - the invisible wind playing with them - tossing them around up down sideways - their movements were so amazing - was this light - am i seeing the motion of light. Suddenly there would be a flurry of wind and the balls would become streaks of light. The streaks would loook like interwined strings of light. And then suddenly as if a slow motion button is pressed the droplets would be visible again. The transformation was amazing.

A broad smile came over my face, my mind filled with fascination, my brain refraining from giving me any explainations. And i stood there for atleast 10-15 minutes staring at that amazing display of something wonderful. Then it struck me where i was - people might be looking at me with curiousity - was i looking like a fool - smiling while looking at perceivably nothing special. But then were they seeing what i was - were they thinking what i was - were they feeling what i was - NO they had no idea. One guy actually tried to see something in the direction i was looking - but i guess he didnt get my point.

I realised how intelligence sometimes has the potential to steal away joy from us. I was enjoying a completely ordinary and fully explainable phenomenon because i didnt try to explain it. I am a pro intelligence guy - i draw inferences and explainations even before i know i have - but sometimes it is worth telling the brain not to work so much - there are amazing things all around us happening every moment - and they can be enjoyed no matter how trivial.

whatever ...

Twinkle twinkle
"oh (blur), atleast one is visible"

beep beep honk honk
another morning - "birds?? where?"

inhale - exhale
"cough cough"

Fruits grow on trees
100 Rs/kg

"I am the scariest creature"
HU HU HO HA HA

flowers in bottles
the AXE effect

dig dig dig - gold
"burn the forest down"

click click click [channel change]
static ... buzzzzzzzzzz

"The bugging animals on roads
in MY?? city"

burn burn burn burn
and let the appliances run

guns and roses
roses no more

"Too weak to give up greed
Too intelligent to acknowledge
Too far from my home"

Happens .....

Thank god i didnt read my horoscope for the day in the morning. It said my day would begin lonely. :P - Martin Hofstadter

Conserve water ????

Conserve water - dont let it run
Stop it, store it i want to keep it
I might need it - so this has to be done

Dont waste water its precious resource
So i dig into earth to get some more
It destroyed the balance, i dont care, ofcourse

The water meant streaming had a part to play
But break its way - make it fall - it makes electricity
Comfort that i seek i find this way

Stop the water that was meant to flow
In jars in bottles in tanks let it store
I will wash I will clean my filth and black
Then out of the pipe i will return it back

Conserve water - for those infinite spores
Living and thriving in cement and roads
Not one activity that i see can be done
Without twisting nature's arm, whats the fun?
And the joke is that one splat on my face
On this earth i am (supposed to be) the most intelligent race

Its ok to like ........

("How can you be like this? How can you .. ? How can you ... ? You already have a girlfriend ....then what is this are you crazy.....? You are such an ass?") -
He was thinking as she was talking to him. She was not his girlfriend. They had met a few months back - they were good friends - shared a lot of common things - the same office to begin with - the same type of work - they saw each other almost everyday - mostly at lunch.


"So what are you doing this weekend? You free?" she asked.

"Somewhat.. maybe.... why? what happened?" He answered.

"I want to watch AVATAR. Have you seen it." she said.

He was free on the weekend but hesitating still. In his mind somehow the rat of guilt was trapped in the cage. But in a casual way - the best face he could create with the guilt inside he said - "Naah, I dont want to.... my friends say its a waste."

"Tell that friend to see a psycologist, he has some problem in the brain." she spoke in disbelief.

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Later that day, with one of his old friend ---

"Man I am messed up in my mind, I have started liking this girl in office, you know her from the PV team"

"Soooooooo? Whats the problem?"

"Dude I already in a relationship and I love my girlfriend, I am feeling so guilty yaar."

"You know from where i see it, you dont need to be guiltly at all. So you liked a girl - why are you making a fuss of it? Its perfectly fine to like someone. There are billions of humans out there and obviously there are more than one person which transpire through your filter of 'likingness'. You like her, cool. That means you are emotionally active. Congradulations......"

"But isnt it wrong to feel this. I mean when i already have a girlfriend. Isnt this cheating?"

"There are a million other factors than those you know which come into play when you start liking someone. Most of them are not in your control. Like genetic compatibility. There must be a million women out there who are genetically compatible to you and so your body responds positively to them and your mind starts to like them. Then there is liking on an individual level. Its perfectly fine to like someone. Well its good to like someone. But what is wrong in this context is what are you trying to make out of it? or what importance you are giving to that fact?

You like the person. You like to talk with them. You want to see them smile. This is what makes us human. Liking doesnt mean you are looking ahead to a family with her or something like that. You like her, full stop. THATS IT. If you make anything more out of it then you are creating a mess for yourself."

"So you say i should stop being with her or not?"

"Accept the fact that you like her. But dont give it so much importance as to jeopardize your present relation. Friendship is more than perfect relationship to have and maintain with someone you like. There is nothing wrong in that."

"I hope you are right."

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