Wishful Thinking I

I want to live in a world where teleportation is something anyone can do :)

Afraid to answer

Fear of the wrong answer - How much we live in that I have realized many times - just today i felt like writing about it. Just in a class i was sitting and like a million times is has happened the instructor/teacher asked a simple question. Maybe there was a bit of confusion in the answer - or maybe i created it in my mind only. I knew the answer (just like 90% of the rest of the class) but still waited for atleast 5 seconds before said it.

Now this was the time when i did speak it out - but there were a million times in the past when i did not do the same - and as i see it now - it was because i was afraid of giving the wrong answer.

This might seem trivial and also a very naturally accepted experience and i dont believe there is anyone out there who has not felt this. But there is so much behind it. This fear of giving the wrong answer is so stupid. So much ego behind not wanting to be wrong. It holds us all back. But really is it worth it?

In the bigger sense - in many ways life itself is a continuous learning class - maybe we keep quiet even in those lessons when life throws a question at us. Sometimes deny the question - sometimes deny the need for the answer. Afraid of being wrong. But all said and done - being wrong is the first step towards being right. Knowing that you are wrong - is the starting point of wanting to be right.

The most knowledgeable accept they donot know it all : The most foolish state that they know it all. Opposite states of reality.

More important things

Career - a means to earn money or simply doing what you want? What is it?

I believe it should be the second one but ends up being the first one. Our decision to do anything in life is so much oriented to be based on how much it fetches us in terms of money. Well it seems its just a natural instinct - only that money is the measure of success now. More money is equated to more capability. But seriously what am i doing with my life - sitting in front of a computer and typing away - typing away almost whole of my life, searching for holes in between where i meet the most important parts of my life - family and friends. Go home tired - just to eat and sleep - maybe see a movie.

All these advancements have dulled human life to the core - we spent so much making a life and there is no time left to have the life that we work so hard for. I should not be the one that complains - i have relatively much easier life than most of the people in the world. But this question comes back again and again to me. Earning money is not THE THING - but still i am spending half of my life for it. It seems ironic.

Then again it is one of my responsibility - towards myself and everyone i love. I must accept it and find a way to do what i want to - while i spend time earning money. Well i think that is the challenge of these times. You my friend would be the most lucky person in the world if you get money for what you love to do, and that was your initial choice. Mostly we have to start to love what we are doing - else there is no other way to sustain it in the long run.

I just re-read all that i wrote above, and it seems to be a cacophony of mixed thoughts. What i want to get to is this - We need money to survive (sad, artificial, unnatural yet true) in today's world. So we work, for someone who pays - to get done what he/she needs. But money is not all - there is more and much more important things. 

Tug of War

Split Apart
The Body and The Heart
Playing a tug of war
with me

When what you want, is dear
Is not around you, not near
The heart tries to fly
The body stays

Pulling me up and down
and to the east and to the west
Splitting me apart
This tug of war