Chain of thoughts

Staying alone can be a torture. Especially when it makes you get complacent. You need someone around just to keep a track of your own self. I felt that need in the recent past. Though i am outperforming on the normal fronts of life but still there is this yearning for a different sense of achievement - the one that does not come out of a fight or victory - the one that does not come from the amount on the paycheck or the number of bugs you solved in the office today.
It comes from just coming back to a few smiling faces, and especially on friday nights. I cant complain, i have always been around people, but the last month taught me how difficult it is to stay motivated when you are alone and things are going your way. YES i said 'going your way'. Perhaps that why things dont always go your way. Just to keep you motivated - and what do most of us do with that - get bogged down. Only when there is a challenge is when we exert and come out of the comfort zone - and only there is the true learning.
There are so many things i want to do - but i am not doing it. WHY? because life is going on comfortably - thats one reason i hate comfort - it dulls me, and in general everybody. There are so many things to learn. To make yourself able to do. So many things to experience. I want to get out of this shell i am in - and funnily enough i know what to do - just do :) .
I dont know why this always seems so right in retrospect - but at the correct time i waste it in useless pursuits. The Must do it - Just do it attitude - have lost it somewhere, and i blame it on being alone. But blaming does not get me anywhere - so instead i should try to get over it. And now it feels like i am talking in circles.
I am not trying to make any point here - but am trying to learn to want to learn and then learn. Learning at the end of the day is the only thing i feel we are supposed to be doing - and we die the day we stop it. And frankly it never stops - there is always something to learn. It could be something exotic like an ancient language or something simple as finding a better way to fold sheets.
So in this post i went from loneliness -> complacency -> comfort -> challenges ->learning. If you have reached to this point in the post then i thank you for reading and hope you got the moral of the story - I am damn bored and blabbering the chain of thoughts in my head.