Saw something i had seen before today while going towards the office. It was a street dog after being hit by a vehicle breathing its last breaths. Had seen such a thing before too - but this experience was different from the last ones that i had. This time as i moved across that writhing body - half in blood in the middle of the road - something inside me churned. Cant explain the feeling exactly - was it pain, sadness, helplessness? i dont know - but i do know i was damned confused.
I saw that dog there on the street i knew he was alive then - and it was obvious that he was suffering. The question in front of me was - can i do anything for that poor thing suffering? then i thought how? can i take him to a vet? do i know any vet around? will any clinic be open at this time (it was a bit early in the morning)? What after i take it to the vet? Can i afford to spend? Will my clothes get stained? What if the dog has an infection? what if my hands get all bloody? Can i go to the office with soiled clothes? The more i thought about it - the more negative thoughts about doing something about it came to the mind. After a while i was disgusted by my own thoughts. By this time i was 500 meters ahead from where the accident had taken place.
Someone in pain is dying in the middle of the road and i could just move past it without a thought. And now i was thinking how not to get dirty..... What if it was a human? Wont i have jumped up right at it and tried to take him/her to the hospital. If yes about the human - then why am i hesitating now? Is it that a human life is more important that a dog's - how do i decide that - there is such a huge bias because i too am a human. Then is my bias the truth - how do i justify this?
Simply i tried to put into perspective the activities of the dog and human - what humans do ----- and what the dogs do ----- from a neutral standpoint - if i forget for sometime that i am human - and try to see the earth as a affected entity - then it is pretty obvious that human life is much more detrimental to the system than the dog's. So logic stands to give more importance to the life of a dog than a human. But still i was thinking ................ the thing was suffering........
I turned back to the dog - i waited on the side of the road so as to let the traffic situation allow me to go to the dog - there i felt maybe what the dog might be at that moment - the monster which had hit it, was coming again and again at his face swooshing past him - unsure if the next one coming will hit him again just as the other one did - the agony he must have been going through along with the pain - i can only imagine.
I went up to it - tried to lift up - the only thing i thought i could do for it then was to lift and keep him on the side of the road - because i saw that the injury was very severe - and i doubted if it could be saved - maybe it was my selfishness which was prompting me to think that way - to give up hope and not take responsibility - i felt coward. It made grunts of pain as i lifted it up i took it to the side in the shade. I was feeling pathetic - helpless - guilty - sad. I patted it on the head - that was my only attempt to ease the pain it was going through - and i knew that was all i was going to do....... i didnt do anything else i left it there to wait for death .........
Creatures live - creatures die everyday - i have no illusions or reservations about this one. Humans live - humans die. But after this event i feel if that dog's death was no big deal - then no human death is a big deal either - its just the part of the cycle.
It has always been like this. It was a street dog so its death was no big deal, similarly if some one who is not related to us say a begger,a poor rickshawala dies,his death wont be a big deal either. Where as if the one who is dying-whether human or dog, if related to us, its death will be a big deal.
ReplyDeleteThe day we will start considering the death of the begger or a poor rickshawala a big deal, we will definately start considering the death of a street dog also a big deal. That day the difference will be no more.
i totally empathize with you..
ReplyDeleteprobably a dog's death is not big a deal..had it been a human, there would have been a bunch of people attempting to save the it. The purposes, in both cases are variently defined. But it is expressed only in the case of humans.